F*ck a Resolution.

Often rooted in diet culture, I am a firm believer that New Year’s Resolutions are evil little fuckers. Why is it that every woman I know has the resolution to lose weight? It’s never ‘I want to learn to love to run so I can feel invincible’ or ‘I am so excited to try yoga to feel more connected to all of my beings’ or ‘I know nourishing my body with more plants will fuel my body so I can conquer anything that comes my way.’ Instead, we pick the parts of ourselves that we have been spoonfed since childhood to dislike, that we want to change, that we wish were different, and we set unrealistic and unattainable goals to “resolve” them. Words matter.

Inevitably, we fail, even if we do end up losing the arbitrary number. It’s a loss, because diet culture wins. 

It’s taken years of surrounding myself with strong women, inspiring professors, sensitive and smart men, poignant books and media, and still I am imperfect. I am learning. I am in progress. My body is a temple being built. But I know with complete resolve that I don’t want the sharp claws of diet culture to sink any deeper into my perfectly imperfect size 12 body.

There is nothing about myself I want to resolve. I don’t need a resolution. And neither do you. Fuck that! Instead, here are the happy, gentle, very soft and warm and inviting goals I am setting for myself for next year. And if I don’t do a single one of these things, I am still winning.

• Read more. Try for 2 books a month, even if they are on audio.
• Write more! Use my voice! Remind myself everyday that people care! Isn’t that something?
• Cook one new recipe per week to ensure the kitchen is a place filled with excitement and accomplishment and fun spices!
• Say no to things I simply do not want to do, and don’t feel the need to provide an explanation.
• Volunteer more with my local community to give back to my home that I love so much.
• Care much less about social media. That means to stop staring at those selfies until they become flawed and to stop checking likes or comments for a rush of invalid validation. Instead, I want to only follow accounts that inspire and educate me and to learn to freely post what I want, when I want, because I can, and that’s as deep as it gets.
• Call my grandparents more.
• Get outside daily to make sure my body (and my puppy!) gets the movement and fresh air and Vitamin D she deserves.
• Continue to wear my heart on my sleeve, even if she gets knocked into time and time again. She’s just getting more resilient.
• Aim for body neutrality, not constant positivity.
• Shop second hand as much as possible.
• Politely ask someone to move if they are in my way instead of waiting for them to magically become spatially aware.
• Mouthwash everyday.
• Stay soft!
• Recognize that making it through 2020, in whatever mental or physical shape I am in, is enough. I am enough. I am. You too.

Cover photo credit.